Thanks Aayaan. I find no difference in patriarchy - brahmanical or otherwise so it didn't even occur to me. :) My grandmothers story is an interesting one. Perhaps I'll write about it someday!
We have very similar rituals for young children here, and exactly the same treatment for women. I have been struggling to articulate all this as well as you have. Thank you for writing this. I am sorry that these conditions of living for women in our cultures have been normalised, and therefore not given the attention needed to make a change. Kudos to you for doing this for all of us through your art.
Thank you Sha. My hope lies in the fact that we wil make the changes for our children that we wished were made for us - and in doing so we will shift the narrative and rules of power, one generation at a time.
Thank you, Samira. I was transported and had to keep reading, captive to learn more and discover what happened next. I appreciate your words and everything in between them. May I offer hugs of empathy, given some limited understanding from what I know of my ancestral cultural ties? More importantly, I wanted to offer praise and appreciation for the way you've captured the struggles and demands of the patriarchal collectivist culture. Thank you.
You're very welcome, Samira. This piece deserves to be shared widely so that others understand the power dynamics and impact on women.
As a 1st gen UK born, Chinese I have a heavy British anchoring on one side, lightly touching into Chinese culture on the other, but I mainly sit between the two in my own 'no-man's-land', fielding the labels that people have tried to slap on me over the years.
I've often thanked my parents for staying in the UK after graduating.
As I said, I appreciate learning more from your article and sending big hugs of empathy.xo
Thanks, Samira. Over the years, I navigated 18 relocations across 10 countries and felt a stronger kinship to being an expat with no deep roots. This is why I forged my own space in no-man's land— while I love to connect with others by drawing empathy from different aspects of myself/my journey, there's no precise mirror, perhaps THAT is the paradox of being human. WE strive for belonging but as Maya Angelou says (one of my favourite quotes) '“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great,” (Bill Moyers in a 1973 interview.)
Your black and white photos really added to your essay. Thank you for inviting us in, Samira. I'm in awe of your mother, and I imagine she one of many strong women trapped in a culture that has other ideas for her. xo
Thank you for your words, Samira. Thank you for sharing your story, you have captured nuances and struggles of our parents. I just don't have words to express how I feel after reading this. You are a powerhouse of a person!
I was surprised that you named it patriarchy and not Brahminical patriarchy, even though you alluded to it. Your essay was quite illuminating. I was also wondering about your grandmother. I hope you’ll share more in future essays.
What an amazing personal essay, Samira! As a Malaysian-Indian woman growing up in a mostly-Indian neighbourhood in Malaysia, I was subjected to similar cultural biases against Indian women as a child, and later as an adult. A new world of freedom and more equality opened up for me when I became a journalist and taught me that freedom is a state of mind (although society often helds, and not in a good way!). Hope is a very powerful emotion indeed, and it warms my heart that yours still holds true. :)
So true Sharmila! Freedom is a state of mind, but it takes years for that realisation to set in. The shift for me was the day my daughter was born and I understood that the power to change lies with me. Its easier said than done though!
Thanks Aayaan. I find no difference in patriarchy - brahmanical or otherwise so it didn't even occur to me. :) My grandmothers story is an interesting one. Perhaps I'll write about it someday!
This was such an incredible piece, Samira.
We have very similar rituals for young children here, and exactly the same treatment for women. I have been struggling to articulate all this as well as you have. Thank you for writing this. I am sorry that these conditions of living for women in our cultures have been normalised, and therefore not given the attention needed to make a change. Kudos to you for doing this for all of us through your art.
Thank you Sha. My hope lies in the fact that we wil make the changes for our children that we wished were made for us - and in doing so we will shift the narrative and rules of power, one generation at a time.
That is the plan. Let's do this! ❤️
Thank you, Samira. I was transported and had to keep reading, captive to learn more and discover what happened next. I appreciate your words and everything in between them. May I offer hugs of empathy, given some limited understanding from what I know of my ancestral cultural ties? More importantly, I wanted to offer praise and appreciation for the way you've captured the struggles and demands of the patriarchal collectivist culture. Thank you.
Thank you Victoria - for you kind words, for reading this story and for sharing your thoughts. It means a lot when the words resonate with others.
You're very welcome, Samira. This piece deserves to be shared widely so that others understand the power dynamics and impact on women.
As a 1st gen UK born, Chinese I have a heavy British anchoring on one side, lightly touching into Chinese culture on the other, but I mainly sit between the two in my own 'no-man's-land', fielding the labels that people have tried to slap on me over the years.
I've often thanked my parents for staying in the UK after graduating.
As I said, I appreciate learning more from your article and sending big hugs of empathy.xo
Thank you for the love! I would love to read and know more about your journey. Navigating two very different cultures cannot be very easy.
Thanks, Samira. Over the years, I navigated 18 relocations across 10 countries and felt a stronger kinship to being an expat with no deep roots. This is why I forged my own space in no-man's land— while I love to connect with others by drawing empathy from different aspects of myself/my journey, there's no precise mirror, perhaps THAT is the paradox of being human. WE strive for belonging but as Maya Angelou says (one of my favourite quotes) '“You are only free when you realize you belong no place—you belong every place—no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great,” (Bill Moyers in a 1973 interview.)
That is quite a journey! Your stories will be incredible :) and no one can say it better than Maya Angelou.
Thanks and Absolutely!
Your black and white photos really added to your essay. Thank you for inviting us in, Samira. I'm in awe of your mother, and I imagine she one of many strong women trapped in a culture that has other ideas for her. xo
Thank you Lani! My mother is a truly incredible woman :)
And you are too 💞
Hugs 🤗
Thank you for your words, Samira. Thank you for sharing your story, you have captured nuances and struggles of our parents. I just don't have words to express how I feel after reading this. You are a powerhouse of a person!
Thank you Aditi! 🙂
Thank you for sharing. I’m glad you are breaking the cycle with your own daughter.
Thank you Barb!
Powerful essay Samira.. There is so much to learn in the way you write..
Thank you Sanket! and likewise :)
I was surprised that you named it patriarchy and not Brahminical patriarchy, even though you alluded to it. Your essay was quite illuminating. I was also wondering about your grandmother. I hope you’ll share more in future essays.
What an amazing personal essay, Samira! As a Malaysian-Indian woman growing up in a mostly-Indian neighbourhood in Malaysia, I was subjected to similar cultural biases against Indian women as a child, and later as an adult. A new world of freedom and more equality opened up for me when I became a journalist and taught me that freedom is a state of mind (although society often helds, and not in a good way!). Hope is a very powerful emotion indeed, and it warms my heart that yours still holds true. :)
So true Sharmila! Freedom is a state of mind, but it takes years for that realisation to set in. The shift for me was the day my daughter was born and I understood that the power to change lies with me. Its easier said than done though!
How inspiring, Samira!
Mi scuso di scrivere in italiano( spero in una buona traduzione).
Il tuo articolo mia ha fatto UN GRANDE PIACERE.
continua e .....auguri per il futuro
Vincenzo
Grazie mille Vincenzo!